


“And you break me all over again.” (Stop asking me to come back – James Arthur)

by ScarletxNight



Series: "I am not like that" [5]
Category: GOT7
Genre: Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Jackson is sad, M/M, Mark walking out, Supernatural Elements, Unrequited Love, Youngjae being cold?, feeling thief, friends - Freeform, poor Jackson, youngjae has powers, youngjae steals emotions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-24
Updated: 2019-10-24
Packaged: 2021-01-02 14:14:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21162980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScarletxNight/pseuds/ScarletxNight
Summary: Song: James Arthur - "Stop asking me to come back"





	“And you break me all over again.” (Stop asking me to come back – James Arthur)

“Hey, I didn’t want to call you this late, but…yeah. How are you, Jackson-hyung?” Youngjae’s voice was just a whisper, soothing and calm. There was a tone, the elder couldn’t catch, like he was scared he would just hang up on him. Why? When did Jackson ever resist the urge to act like an obedient and loving pet, when it was about the younger?

He had done it so soften, always, too many times in the past. He let out a deep sigh, his own voice utterly tired: “Youngjae-ah, didn’t we talk about this? Many times before. You promised not to call me in the middle of the night, when I was away for work. You know, I can’t- I am just not in the right mind for this right now, so please. Just please, don’t do this.” He was starting to tremble, betraying his words as his voice turned more thin with each word, threatening to break completely.

He hadn’t slept for nearly two days straight, making him go insane by now. Maybe he was just imagining all of this? Because one of the main reasons for his sleep deprivation was breathing unsteadily into his phone right now, sounding vulnerable…and so lonely. Jackson swallowed the lump in his throat, rolling onto his back, lying uselessly in a hotel room somewhere in Hongkong. Too far away from Korea, to deal with anything going on there, but he couldn’t help his voice going soft: “What is going on, Jae?”

As if his words had broken the dam, the younger let out a choked breath turning into a sob right away: “Seunie, he broke up with me. M-Mark left me, he j-just took- he packed his things. He took everything, leaving only Coco with me. What should I do, Hyung?” Jackson closed his eyes tightly, resisting the urge to scream and cry himself. Why was he calling him out of all people, when he knew how he felt?

“Youngjae, stop. Don’t. I am sure, he is just angry about something, you fought again, right? He will come around, so go to sleep and-“ The sobbing became less, Youngjae’s voice getting steadier, when he interrupted Jackson with a rush of words. Jackson’s heart sunk with every word, his heart going cold: “No, Hyung. This time not. I did something awful. His sister visited last week and I…Hyung, I did it again. I stole from her.”

His words drowned in more sobs. His crying got louder, while Jackson tried to organize his thoughts. Everything inside him was screaming at him to hang up and forget he had ever heard all of this, but he couldn’t. His body was frozen, his mouth working on auto-pilot, making Jackson feel distant. “Youngjae, what do you mean?” He did not want to believe him, the reality hitting him hard: He hadn’t changed.

The younger shook his head, even though it was a call, trying to clear his clouded mind: “I did it again, Hyung! I stole her feelings. Not just any. You know, that I am an only child. I always wanted to feel what it was like to feel love for a sibling, I wanted to try feeling-“ This time, Jackson interrupted him, not being able to hear anymore. His protest was a breathless “No” making himself choke up. He had stolen Tammy's feelings for Mark. He had stolen her love for her brother.

This meant another thing, turning Jackson’s bones to ice. Mark would not come back this time. He should have been relieved. In the end, he had always loved Youngjae for so long now, that it was crushing him to see someone else by his side after they had broken apart, but there was this underlying fear, he couldn’t shake. Yes, he loved Youngjae, but it would never mend the things he had done in the past _and was still doing._ Jackson and Youngjae had been friends for so long now, well had been friends until two years ago, when Jackson had had enough. Enough of covering up the other’s lies. Enough of giving in every freaking time something went amiss. Enough of Youngjae treating him like he belonged to him and not _with _him.

They had broken apart and Jackson broken down too long ago, for him to feel more than a numbness. Jackson had left in the middle of the night and now he felt like he was back in their shared flat _as best friends. _Begging Youngjae to give him a chance, feeling broken and pathetic all the same. Youngjae had cried even back then telling him again and again, that he loved him, _but not like that, Hyung._ Not the way, he had wanted Mark. It had taken Jackson another half of a year to realize, that Youngjae had never loved him. Heck, he hadn’t even loved Mark or anyone else before. Youngjae was emotionless, an empty vessel yearning for feelings and emotions of any kind.

He was a kid, when he had started stealing other people’s feelings. Emotions, that didn’t belong to him. That belonged to others and then not anymore, when he had taken them for himself. If Youngjae could be anything, he was selfish, but did that count, when he would never feel guilt or remorse? Never realize, what was wrong with stealing something that important for any other person?

“Hyung, please…” The voice pulled him back to the present, his breathing shallow. Youngjae couldn’t feel guilt or remorse. Hate or love, but Jackson could. Oh, and he did so badly. The older closed his eyes, taking a deep breath until his breathing was steady and his voice unwavering. Youngjae couldn’t feel, but he knew how to use another person’s weakness all too well. He was trying to get Jackson to come back, to tell him everything was okay, that they would fix it and that he would take the next available flight to rush to him. Jackson nearly laughed at the déjà vu. It would not even be the first time, he did it. Oh, God, he was so broken.

“Youngjae-ah, I love you.” He heard the other breathing steadily again, too fast to be natural. So, he had really wanted to make him follow his flute right back to hell. Jackson bit on his tongue until it was probably bleeding. The flowing copper taste in the next moments, proving it.

Oh, how he wished he wasn't like that.


End file.
